ROBERT CHENDER: CHAIR, INTERNATIONAL DIVISION
MINDFUL LEADERS IN THE LAW: An interview with Robert Chender
By Christopher J. Lhulier
Welcome to the April 2021 edition of the Mindful Leaders in the Law interview series. We continue this month with Robert Chender, MILS Managing Board member and Chair of MILS’ International Division. Robert is the rare breed who has managed to balance a demanding law career with practicing and teaching mindfulness and meditation. He is a securities attorney at Seward & Kissel LLP in New York City. In addition, he has taught mindfulness meditation for over 30 years. He leads classes and seminars both in the US and UK, training law firms, investment managers, corporations, and non-profits to incorporate mindfulness practices in the workplace. He also teaches in Buddhist meditation centers and has been a personal meditation and spiritual coach for many years.
I had the opportunity to ask Robert about his approach to teaching mindfulness to lawyers and the changes he has seen over the years in the receptivity of the legal profession to mindfulness and well-being. I also asked him, as a teacher with 3 decades of experience, to provide some practical tips on meditation and advice to younger lawyers about how to strike the right balance between their success in their career and their well-being.
Q: You have been practicing mindfulness for decades. How did you begin?
A: When I was a teenager I read a book called An Introduction to Zen, which contained stories of Zen masters. I immediately saw that they knew things that I didn’t know, and I wanted to know what they knew. So I decided to do what they did, which was to meditate.
Q: You have also been teaching mindfulness for a number of years. How would you describe your approach to teaching?
A: I tell my young legal associates that the most important thing about law practice is to know is what you don’t know. It’s the same with teaching mindfulness – know your material, and be okay with saying “I don’t know” when you get a question.
Q: Would you say that teaching mindfulness to lawyers is any different than teaching to a mixed room of people?
A: In my experience the average lawyer is more analytic and more skeptical than most people. I appreciate skepticism in my students, because it means someone is really examining whether something makes sense to them.
Q: Have you seen the legal profession become more receptive to integrating mindfulness and well-being practices into the profession in the last few years, particularly since the ABA’s 2017 well-being report and recommendations?
A: I founded the New York City Bar Association Mindfulness Group (now the Mindfulness and Wellbeing Committee) in 2009, and it took quite a bit of work. I was first asked to meet with the Bar representatives in person, probably because they wanted to make sure I wasn’t wearing robes! I gave a talk eventually and 65 people showed up, so they invited me (and eventually others) to speak monthly about mindfulness in law practice. Recently of course mindfulness has become a much bigger part of the zeitgeist and mindfulness is common in law firms, bar associations, and legal non-profits.
Q: Do you think the mindfulness/well-being movement in our profession has staying power?
A: Yes.
Q: Do you have a go to mindfulness practice for those days when you do not have time to do a formal sitting?
A: The reason it’s called mindfulness practice is because we’re practicing how to be during the time we’re not sitting. So we can just come back to the present whenever we remember to. In addition, one good practice for a difficult emotional situation is STOP: when you get triggered, Stop, Take a breath, Observe what’s going on and what just happened, and Proceed in a way that’s responsive to the situation and not reactive.
Q: What advice would you give young lawyers and law students who want to balance their career success with their overall physical, emotional and psychological well-being?
A: If possible, make sure that what you’re doing isn’t in conflict with your values. Realize that you’re not perfect and never will be and that’s okay. Understand that stress is resistance to pain, and that pain is inevitable, so we don’t need to make it worse than it is. If you find yourself in fight, flight, or freeze mode more than occasionally, examine what’s happening and talk to someone about how to work with your emotions in a healthy way.